Your divorce is almost over. You’re finally down to the last few details. Unfortunately, these remaining details can also be the hardest to work out. You and your soon-to-be former spouse both want to be present parents. This means creating an effective child visitation schedule that works for everyone. How tough can it be to figure out which parent has their child on a specific day?
Unfortunately, even an amicable divorce can turn sour when it’s time to divide up your shared child’s time. However, considering a few factors can make creating a workable child visitation schedule a little easier. Who knows, this may even help you and your former spouse remain friendly long after your divorce is settled.
Key Factors to Consider in a Child Visitation Schedule
There’s nothing wrong with getting some advice from other divorced parents. They can usually give you some helpful tips. However, keep in mind your child’s visitation schedule is going to look different from other families.
Child’s Age
Your child’s age is going to play a huge role in your parenting schedule. Studies show younger children in particular benefit from having both parents present in their lives. Trying to work out a 50/50 co-parenting plan isn’t easy but it’s possible.
A 2-2-3 schedule tends to work best for younger children. Every couple of days your child spends time with a different parent. Sure, this means multiple child exchanges during the week but it’s worth the effort. Older children, like teens, usually have active lives. Switching which parent they live with during the week isn’t always feasible. Working out a parenting schedule with older kids can be challenging. You may want to go with a week on and off visitation schedule. This way, there are less disruptions in your teen’s life.
Both Parents Work Schedules
Work schedules for you and your spouse will play a key role in a child visitation schedule. Even though employers may be willing to cut parents some slack, you typically can’t rearrange your work schedule. This also applies to your former partner.
Before you start working out a shared parenting schedule, talk to your former partner. Get a copy of their work schedule. Better yet, sit down with a neutral third party like a divorce mediator. You can go over each other’s work schedules and address any issues before they become contentious problems. This also gives everyone a chance to consider other things like childcare. Typically, the parent with custody is responsible for covering childcare costs.
Be Ready to Accept Changes
Okay, after a ton of discussion and maybe some arguments, your child’s visitation schedule is finally in writing. You and your former spouse accept the terms and are ready to start co-parenting after divorce.
Everything should be set right? Guess what, simply having an agreement in writing doesn’t mean changes aren’t going to pop up. What happens if your spouse has the flu during their visitation days? Do you still insist you stick to the visitation arrangement? Maybe, you’re called in for a work emergency. Does this mean you’re stuck covering unexpected childcare costs?
Life happens. There’s no getting around this fact. Life can throw you a curveball or two and it can play havoc with your child visitation schedule. Since the court’s signed off on your visitation schedule, it’s pretty much set in stone. The schedule is what the court legally expects both parents to follow.
While you should stick with the schedule, you also want to be ready to be a little flexible. Accepting that life can interfere with a parenting schedule is part of the process. If your former spouse is running late to the pick-up or drop-off location, don’t have a fit. Next time, it may be you running a little late. You should also be a little flexible if your spouse needs to change a visitation day. Flexibility can go a long way towards ensuring your co-parenting journey is as stress-free as possible for everyone involved.
A quick tip. If you or the other parent continuously needs to adjust the parenting schedule it may be time to head back to court. A few adjustments here and there usually aren’t a big deal. Remember, life doesn’t always go perfectly. However, your co-parenting schedule is also a legal agreement and significant changes should be approved by the court.
Putting Your Child First
Co-parenting is usually part of a divorce when shared children are involved. As you and your former spouse are working out a visitation schedule, keep one thing in mind. Your children’s best interests should always come first. Even if this means not getting your idea of an ideal visitation schedule.
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